* jazzyhands *

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::12.11.06:: Smell Ya Later!

I'm not going to write a post about how I haven't updated in months. I'm not going to talk about how I've been busy and I'm not going to promise to update in future.

I don't think I have anything to say here any more.

I talk about food and exercise and losing weight here.

I talk about writing here.

That's enough. Goodbye.

::20.7.06:: Addictions

If you're a smoker, you'll have seen the new government initiative on cigarette packets - diseased body parts are the most common, but then there's the girl in the call centre (ie. smoking and that's where you'll end up) and my fave - the graph. The graph shows death statistics - smoking = 1 zillion deaths, murder a mere 2oo or so.

Low down on the lists is illegal drugs. I analysed this closely and realised the subtext our government is getting at here. They actually want us to quit smoking and take up more exciting addictions. Good ole government, they are all - cigarettes, you pussy. Get some decent class A narcotics into ya.

But you can't just take up illegal drugs willy-nilly, so I've worked out the pros and cons. I think this is a valuable resource for the kiddies. After all, most drug information isn't that handy. It's all like if you take drugs, you have fun but you die. Hello, what's the alternative? It's not like you *don't* die if you don't take drugs. I mean we are all grown ups. We know everything and everyone dies eventually - Rover didn't really go to the farm. Here is my honest look at your drug options:



-relatively cheap
-can buy it at the 7 eleven (well in the car park anyways)
-you are still smoking

-listening to Bob Marley
-wearing stupid beanies and calling everyone "man"
-paranoid delusions
-having to learn to roll joints
-having to hang around with annoying potheads

-seeing pretty lights and music
-cheap as chips

-being thought a fucktard when telling people about the pretty lights and music
-pretty lights and music turning into evil stuff like Satan or Angela Bishop
-having to hang out with annoying acidheads


-thinking you are entertaining and attractive
-makes boring people tolerable
-weight loss

-delusions about being entertaining and attractive
-needing complete nasal passage reconstruction


-feelings of happiness and gooey goodwill
-makes sex better
-makes dance music tolerable

-isn't as good as it used to be so you sound like an old fart telling people 'you think these are good E's?...'
-makes fluffy legwarmers look like a smart fashion choice
-makes dance music tolerable
-loving your fellow man
-having to hang out with ravers


-able to multitask by scoring on tram to work (this works best if you catch the No 86 tram)

-despite images of attractive junkie rockstars (eg. Kurt Cobain) with good teeth (eg. Kurt Cobain before he blew his head off), most junkies are hideously ugly with scabby skin and sores and stringy, greasy hair
-loss of fashion sense (remember kiddies: death may be inevitable, but parasilk isn't - say no to smack)
-needles - ick!
-having to steal cars and break into houses
-having to hang out with smackies with scabby skin and greasy hair

And there you have it. In summary, cocaine is the clear winner - at least it makes your druggie mates easier to handle. See ya later, I'm going out for a coco now.

    ::19.7.06:: Things That Piss Me Off #4

    My housemates! Yeah I know that was last week's rant but those mofo's have upped the stakes again. They broke my frypan then put it back in amongst my other cookware without saying a word. My other housemate also used my saucepan. All cookware is now stored in my room.

    When I cleaned up last night, I found a jar of crappy coffee. I put it in the kitchen because I'll never drink it. My Ma reckons it would be illegal to put rat poison in it. I don't see why. I think I'm perfectly entitled to store my rat poison wherever I want and if people are rude enough to steal my coffee, I can't be responsible for the consquences.

    Another thing that pisses me off is being so poor that I missed out on seeing the Yeah Yeah Yeahs last night.

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