A post which isn't about smoking
Well maybe, a little bit.
I have to go to Pathology for blood tests this morning. I never eat breakfast but this morning I could eat a horse. One of those huge mutha draughthorses at that. Damn. As soon as they take my blood I'm off to the yummy Vietnamese bakery for a salad roll. Hungry.
Ok, I'm doing a Professional Writing and Editing course (second year, part time) and last week was the first week back for the year. I was sitting in class last Thursday and had this sudden blinding flash of what-am-I-doing-here-ness. The last time I had a flash like that was when I was doing my undergrad degree and suddenly realised that majoring in Accounting was wrong, wrong, wrong. Not that there is anything wrong with Accounting -- I hate the people think that doing something creative like writing is intrinsically better than doing something like Accounting or whatever. I don't think being creative makes you a better/more interesting person. I do think there is a special place in hell for people who seriously talk about "My Art" with capital letters. Especially if those people are comedians and their art is telling a few jokes down at the pub (why is it considered Art just because you are on stage and have a microphone anyway?)
But I digress. So yeah, I was sitting in class and it suddenly dawned on me -- I am not doing this course to get an actual qualification. I don't really care if I finish it even. If I spend six hours in class but say at least four hours working outside class that is ten hours a week spent on writing related activities. A goodly proportion of those would be class assignments and other guff that I don't really care about. I don't need to write an essay on "Point of View" or "Setting". The things I wanted from the course -- feedback on my work and deadlines to work to -- could be acheived as easily if I joined a writer's group instead of busting my gut to get to classes after work. I am seriously considering dropping out or dropping back to one subject.
Ok, smoking news. I bought a packet of cigarettes last night. Bad me. I got in the car to drive home and lit it up but it was very yucky-poo-poos so I put it out. Then I got out another one and didn't light. It is amazing how much better it feels to drive with a cigarette in your fingers. You don't need to lit it. Anyhow now I have a nicotine inhaler. It rocks.
Oh yeah, and I gave the rest of the packet away. I don't really need temptation.