* jazzyhands *

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::21.9.03:: Internet Dating and Messenger Ettiquette

This perplexes me - ok, I am on an internet dating site, get a message from a interested gent who seems rather lovely so I send a message back. After a few messages, we move to the next stage -- some real time chat on MSN Messenger. So far, so good.

The problem starts the next time I log onto Messenger and his name pops up in my little box. I wait for him to start chatting. He doesn't. So I am left with the dilemma - do I initiate a chat or not? Except that a reasonable period of time has passed, say 10 minutes, so I am thinking that maybe he doesn't want to chat to me.

If I don't chat and just ignore then it gets harder and harder to start chatting each time I log on. In the end I just delete him from my list.

I am never sure about the ettiquette in this situation (or about the spelling of ettiquette to be honest). Are they waiting for me to initiate the chat, maybe not wanting to be too pushy?

I figure if you don't want to chat to someone then you block them, even if it is only temporarily...like say you are engrossed in some juicy cybergoss from your sister. But then other people, I have discovered, don't operate that way.

Also, if I am on Messenger and someone logs in, do I initiate the chat or do they?

If I am logged in then I assume that they will think I am willing to chat to them (ie. I haven't blocked them) so they should initiate. But maybe they are waiting for me to initiate because they think I have a scintilatting chat session in progress.

Sometimes the modern world is too much to deal with.

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