* jazzyhands *

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::11.1.04::

God damn... I went out and got messy-drunk on Friday night. That would have to be the first time in months. Lately I have been extra good mainly due to lack of finances. Even when I have the money to drink I don't have the money for cab fares so I don't drink and play taxi instead.

On Friday night I didn't even really think about... just started drinking and kept drinking. Problem was I went to a place where I knew people, but not too well, and they weren't really drinking. Ouch.

I have been going through all the shame and remorse and self-loathing associated with hangovers and the 'do I want to face these people ever again?' and all that shit.

I think I was funny and witty but don't you always think that when you are drinking?

Now, is this weird or is it just me... I met a guy on a chatroom and added him to my msn list a while back. For some reason I blocked him (I vaguely recall that he was boring... I am actually very vague about the whole thing, but remember wondering why he made such a fuss about wanting to talk to me on msn but then didn't really chat once I added him).

Anyway, if that makes sense then this is the weird thing. He came up to me on Friday night and was having a go at me because he has seen me on the chatroom but I haven't been coming up on his msn list. He was saying I was a bitch and wanting to know what was going on.

Later on I went to talk to him again to try to clarify things as what he said hadn't really sunk into my befuddled brain, and his friend told me that I "wasn't welcome at their table". I was cool about that and just walked off.

Later still the friend accused me of doing some nasty things while sitting at their table and, being drunk and confused, I didn't (and still don't) know if his accusations are true or if he was fucking with my head.

To me, it was all a bit weird.

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