I rarely think about age in the context of whether something I do is "right" for someone of my age... the right way to dress, the right way to live, the right things to do. Sometimes, when I was going to see a band or planning a trip to the Big Day Out or some other fun activity, one of the guys I used to work with (who was the same age as me) would say that he would love to do things like that but he felt too old, that people would think he was strange for being there. It is a thought that never occurs to me. I think if I have the inclination to do something, or wear something, then by virtue of having that desire, I am not too old to do it.
Recently I was re-reading Hotel New Hampshire, one of my favourite books, and one of the characters quotes a poem by Donald Justice -- Men at Forty.
Men at forty
Learn to close softly
The doors to rooms they will not be
Coming back to
I don't even what to think about the rooms I am not coming back to. I want to think about the rooms I haven't explored yet, those wonderful, mysterious rooms that beckon me.
A month or so ago there was a news item about Australia's oldest skydiver. They were younger than my Nan. Since then I have been trying to talk my Nan into topping his effort. Surprisingly, she likes the idea in theory. In practice I don't think it will ever happen. But how cool would that be -- to have Australia's oldest skydiver as a Nan.
I think when I hit 90 (should that be IF I hit 90) I am going to do crazy, fucked-up things. Hell, if you can't do crazy, fucked-up things when you are in your 90s, when can you do them? I want to do all those things that people tell you not to do because they will ruin your life. I want to take heroin and run around with bad men. I want to go back to Uni and do an Arts degree.