* jazzyhands *

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It seems like nothing has gone quite right this weekend. Not that there have been any major disasters or anything like that, just that things keep going wrong.

On Friday night I went to see The Spanish Apartment at the Nova. For some stupid reason most of money was on my Visa card rather than in my normal bank...I don't have a PIN for my Visa so I could only access this money by making an actual credit transaction. Other than that I had $60 in cash for the whole weekend. I got to the Nova and they only sell tickets for cash, not credit cards.

Then, when I went to buy my ticket, I didn't have my concession card, my RRR subscriber card or any of the umpteen other cards that I could use to get a concession. Damn it.

Then the movie. The Spanish Apartment would have to be one of the most tedious movies I have ever seen. A bunch of uni students (albeit from different countries) living in a share house and smoking lots of pot is not entertainment-worthy in my opinion. Hell, I could have saved my money and wandered into one of the myriad of uni houses around the Carlton area and seem the same thing for free and, I dare say, with a lot more appealing and interesting characters too.

After the movies I got into an argument with the parking guy. On the huge sign at the Lygon Court car park it says 2 hours free parking with a purchase over $5 at any of the stores (until 10.00 when the night parking rate applies). I got to the carpark at 9.00pm and left at 11.30 or so. The parking guy wanted to charge me for 3 hours of parking. He told me that the 2 hours free parking no longer applied, then he told me it only applied with a Safeway docket and nothing else. I have parked in that car park at least once a week for the past year or so and no way is it only with a Safeway voucher. In the end he charged me the night rate of $3.50 which was still wrong. It should have been $2.20. This would be the third or fourth time that they have tried to rip me off at that car park. Normally it is because I enter before 5.00 on a Saturday but leave after 5.00. The sign says that the two hours of free parking applies if you enter before 5.00 (nothing at all about what time you leave) yet they always try to charge me for parking.

It makes me anger that this is even an issue. I mean I don't mind so much being ripped off $1.30 for parking, although after having to pay cash for the movie every cent was beginning to count, I do mind having to have an argument with the parking guy about things that are clearly stated on their sign. I think I will write them a curt letter about it.

On Saturday I was meant to go to Rae's housewarming party and wrote down the wrong address. I am such an idiot sometimes.

Then yesterday I was meant to have a hot date but things just didn't go well. He seemed a little distant and less attentive than usual and I was feeling a bit cranky anyway. We went out and eventually I decided to go home. We had gone in my car so thought he would leave with me and get his car and go back to be with his friends. I don't think I am unreasonable being annoyed about that. I didn't talk in the car the whole way back. He did the "what's wrong?" thing and I did the "nothing" thing. Eventually I told him and he was very apologetic, still went back to the club though.

I really don't know what is going on there. I am getting mixed signals...running hot and cold type things. Sometimes, when he isn't around, I get the feeling it is 'out of sight, out of mind' but then when we get together he does something that is incredibly thoughtful and proof that he has put a lot of thought into our time together.

I guess part of the trouble is that I don't really know where I stand and all my insecurities start bubbling up inside me and, I guess, my selfishness that it always has to be about me. At the same time I don't want to start talking about 'our relationship' because I don't want to have things hammered down and getting heavy this early on.

What do you do when things are like that? I mean, do I accept that because he is (normally) very caring and affectionate when we are together that he does care about me even though he doesn't contact me as much as I would like or do I be guarded and wary?

Sometimes I think I have been damaged so much by relationships in the past that I can't accept the evidence of my own eyes and my own experiences, that I always have to be looking out for signs that things aren't right. I don't want to let my insecurities and doubts ruin things.

Oh yeah, and the other really beastly thing that happened this weekend...my sister's friend was going to loan me season 7 of Buffy on video but she couldn't find the tapes.

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