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::1.4.04::
I am a dickbrain!
I realised today that I have been moping around like a lovesick cow over a guy who:
1. Actually said in conversation "Isn't Shannon Noll's version of 'What about me?' great?"
2. Does there need to be a 2 after that first comment? Hello, earth to me, what the fuck are you thinking? Shannon Noll. What about me? Agggghhh. Note, there was no sarcasm or irony in that comment either. He thinks Shannon Noll/s is a 'great Aussie singer'. He thinks 'What about me?', a song that is the musical equivalent to fingernails on a blackboard (and I have hated since the original Moving Pictures version was released -- showing my age now and, to digress a little, I went to a festival once where Moving Pictures played and sat with my fingers in my ears screaming in pain throughout that entire song), is a great song.
3. There is more. He talks to people to anyone who looks like they come from a non-English speaking background (eg. waiting staff in one of my favourite resturants) like this: COULD. I. HAVE. MY. ORDER. NOW. PLEASE. I hate that so much. Ahhhgggg.
4. He has shocking table manners. Just awful.
I think that is enough. I am moving on now. I have another man I am chatting to, was going to meet this arvo but he couldn't make it, and phoned me all apologetic. I am resisting the urge to ask what is the point, that he is only going to reject me in about a month's time anyway and cast me aside like a used cigarette butt, grinding me into the carpet with his heel. I can be strong. I have one more attempt in me.
And, speaking of attempts, I am thinking of going out to a club alone on Saturday night. There will be people I know going and it should be entertaining but the thought of going out alone is hugely scary to me. Horrifically scary. I think I will do it though.
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