Yesterday I should have stayed in bed.
I had an 11 o'clock appointment for some girlie wax work. I had a lunch in Caulfield at 2 o'clock and then a hot night of sex after 6.00. A simple and basic plan one would think.
For some stupid reason I had made the 11.00 appointment at a salon in St Kilda, not thinking that there was a huge gap between waxworks and lunch to fill. I did get an offer from a friend in the area to go to his house for a "nap" in between but talked my way out of it.
Woke up yesterday morning, tired and hungover, and organised to pick up my car from my friend's place. My friend was late coming to get me to pick it up, but what can you say when someone is doing you a favour. Then got caught in roadworks in the city, so I rang the salon to tell them I would be late. They told me that to get there as soon as I could -- I never understand when people say that... hello, I am ringing because I am stressing about being late, it is most unlikely that I would stop for a round of mini golf on the way -- and they would discuss 'my options' when I got there. Finally found the House of Brazillain Beauty and was told that, because I was 10 minutes late, the best they could do was a bikini wax. At that stage I was mentally geared up to have my virgin forest clear felled and was sorely disappointed. I told them no, said I would think about rescheduling (meanwhile thinking 'I don't want you hard-faced bitches anyway near my nether regions), and returned home.
Luckily I remembered a salon around the Docklands area had sent us all a 20% voucher for work. A voucher that has been sitting next to my monitor at work for weeks. I gave them a call and they could fit me in straight away. Woohoo! So I rocked up for my waxing. While the girl was waxing me I told her about the other salon. She said it was probably that they didn't want to do the job because of my 'body shape'. If that is the case then they are size-ist arseholes. Why don't they just put .. we only wax size 10s on their web site and save everyone some bother.
By the way, why do people think it is "cleaner" to have the whole Brazillian thing done? I think people are starting to get really uptight about normal body parts and functions. At one of the offices I was working at recently a girl was saying she would only have a baby if she could have a caserian because childbirth is "unnatural". I don't get it.
So, because of the waxing dilemmas, I was running late for lunch. But it is hard to tell with these things and I wasn't sure if it was just a 'hi, how are you?' type lunch or an all afternoon thing. Figured the best idea was to ring and find out, which was when I realised I had left my mobile at home. I went home to get it and was over an hour late for lunch. Tried to ring my friend but he wasn't answering, so thought I would turn up at the pub and see what has happening. Couldn't find the pub and decided it was best to go book into my hotel and have a pre-hot sex nap.
I got to the hotel, the hotel that I had carefully selected on last minute for affordablity, availablity and smoke-ability.. geez there are a lot of non-smoking hotels around. When I was checking in, I found out that the hotel I had booked was non-smoking. I told them that they had only said 'non-smoking' rooms.. to me that implies some rooms are smoking, some aren't.. but they said it meant all rooms were non-smoking but outside the rooms wasn't. I was not happy, especially since I had to sign to say that I would pay a $250 fine if I smoked in the room, but it was too late to do much about it since the room was booked and paid for.
I had my nap then rang the hot date to tell him to come over. Over the next 2 hours got numerous sms messages saying he just had to do this, just had to do that... getting me very suspicious. He finally turned up and told me his car had broken down but he hadn't wanted to tell me that. Hmmm... ok.
The night of hot sex ended up being a night of lukewarm sex and lots of chat. Then, at midnight, he said he had to go home because he was working on Sunday. Was not happy. Note... does anyone suddenly realise at midnight that they need to go home. He hadn't mentioned it earlier, so I am pretty sure that it was a sorry excuse to leave.
As he was leaving, a friend called so I told him that my hot date was a dud and asked him if he wanted to go to a club (hot date was in the room at the time, throwing champagne corks at me). Hot date then assured me it would be better next time. Next time, which will be around about when we go ice-skating in hell. He also told me things would be better if I hadn't talked so much!
In between hot date leaving and my friend arriving, hot date had sent me about 5 sms messages. I don't understand. I swear I will never understand men.
My friend turned up in a cab and we went to the club, a club I have been wanting to go to for weeks. The club was closing when we got there (at 2.00 am) so decided it wasn't quite the happening place I had been told. We ended up at a gay bar where I ran into a few old friends, had a drink then went back to my room, alone, to sleep.