* jazzyhands *

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::18.7.04::

Most fairy tales are so wrong. They just promote this idea that it is ok to sit on your arse whinging and waiting for something magical to happen instead of getting out there and working for it.

Case Study 1 - Cinderella.

The story of a "poor-me" drama queen who throws herself a "cry-me-a-river pity party" because she doesn't get to to a ball. Is she pro-active and taking charge of her life? No, she has to wait for a fairy godmother to turn up and fix things for her.

So she gets to the ball and what does she do? Throw herself at some guy with an obvious foot/shoe fetish*, who uses any flimsy excuse to feel up every foot in the kingdom.

Case Study 2 - Rumpellstilskin.

I have always hated this fairy tale. The story of a woman who makes a bargain with a little guy then as soon as he comes to collect she tries to weasel her way out of it. I don't think this is very fair or right. People should think more carefully before promising to give away their first born child**. Well I do it all the time but that is ok because he is 17 and no one who sees how much he eats is willing to take him on.

Case Study 3 - The shoemaker and the elves.

This one is the evilest. Just let me say if this story was happening today the shoemaker would be called something like Nike and the elves would be known as third world sweatshops.

Case Study 4 - Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

Yeah I know this isn't your classic fairy tale but it contains the most misguided message of them all. Namely that if you want something more than anyone else then you will get it. In my total life experience the number of times this has happened - 0. You know what I think is far more realistic? That bit in the movie Fame were the girl really wants to go to the Fame school more than anything in the world and she takes her friend along to the audition with her and her friend ends up getting into the Fame school and she doesn't. That sort of shit happens all the time - you want something so bad that you fuck it up with nerves and overcaring while the person who doesn't give a shit breezes through.

These are just a few examples. I urge you to think carefully before telling fairy stories to your kids. Otherwise they will end up with "Magic Happens" stickers on the backs of their cars and sitting on their arses collecting the dole expecting their "guardian angels" or "spirit guides" to intervene. They are going to put their wishes "out into the universe" and "wait for things to manifest".

I'll tell you what I think teaches kids the proper way life is - Monopoly. You geta certain amount of luck - good or bad, you can buy up both Mayfair and Park Lane first up with an incredible amount of luck (and the help of the Chance card) or you can spend most of your time in jail. No wishing and hoping and praying is ever going to change your luck. Things just happen and you have to accept them.

You also need a certain amount of skill and tenacity - you can win the game without owning the big ticket items but it sure as hell helps.

The way to win is to send your friends bankrupt. Well ok, maybe that isn't such a good life lesson.

And just when you think you have it all won, some arsehole can kick the board out from under you and you have to start all over again.

To me that is a far more realistic representation of life.

*this is in no way a condemnation of foot or shoes fetishists. some of my best friends have foot fetishes - and I mean that more literally than you may possibly imagine.

** there could be some relationship between this and my previous post. next time you are installing your latest microsoft product read the fine print on those term and conditons very carefully.

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Comments:

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# posted by R.H. : 7:06 am

Forget all that. Let's just say, when it comes to romance, a handsome prince is every poor young woman's dream. And every rich woman's dream too.

Romance is very important to women. It's the number one thing, in fact. They'll never give it up - never stop looking for it - right to the end.

# posted by R.H. : 8:55 am

I'm a poor girl and I have no dreams of a prince rescuing me. I really like my life and don't want to be "resscued" for one thing.

And also, have you read those fairy tales. There was only ONE prince. That Prince Charming was a bit of sleazebag really, hitting on all those poor girls. Using his.. I'm a prince and I'm going to take you away to my enchanted castle where we will live happily ever after. Yeah right, after a good session of rumpy-pumpy under the sheets I bet he was on his horse and looking for the next maiden to rescue. Typical bloody man actually.

# posted by Kathryn : 1:24 pm

i always hated snow white. she is taken in by seven saps who help her throughout life (all right, she does all the housework, but she is living there rent-free) and as soon as her prince comes along she rides off into the sunset with him, without looking back. that's teaching kids appreciation and gratitude! the moral is: do whatever you have to do to get through, and use whoever you have to, and don't ever look back.

# posted by Robert : 4:19 pm

Go on, admit your weakness and be done with it.

# posted by R.H. : 4:52 pm

I'm with you on the fairy tales. I've only ever looked closely at Snow White. It really pissed me off how she didn't even thank those short blokes, once the prince turned up.

# posted by Anonymous : 2:10 pm

You're ignoring the setting - judging the situation by todays jolly standards. Cinderella was written a long time ago (before women became Liberated!). In Cinderella's day women were cattle. There was no chance to sit on their bums whinging, it was all work. Hard work. And daydreams - that Richard Gere might come along.

# posted by R.H. : 11:39 pm