* jazzyhands *

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The more I think about it, the more I think Paris Hilton would make the perfect presidential candidate. I mean if you are trying to sell the world on American consumerist imperalism then Paris is your girl. Sure bombing the fuck out of people aids with democracy, but imagine how much more fun it would be for all concerned if they just went shopping with Paris. She would win over world leaders with her kindness, understanding and knowledge of fashion. She could rock up to the UN and have a slumber party with cute kitten pjs, face masks and manicures.

In fact her campaign slogan could be - "Make Overs, Not War".

And, when the leaders of terrorist groups sent videos of their demands she could just send them back a tape of her own. I don't think there would be much terrorism going on. The rest of the terrorist group would be knocking on the locked door, yelling 'Come on Boss, we gotta go and, you know, terrorise...' and all they would hear would be some heavy breathing accompanied by slapping sounds while the boss pants out - 'just ...a few ...more minutes...'



These blokes are not chasing a fuck. They're giving up their lives for a cause. Understand?

Probably not.



Humour, RH Understand?

Probably not.



I understand humour alright. No one knows it better. That's the point.



I've stopped listening to you. Anonymous mail isn't worth a pimp's arse.

I put my name on everything I write. It's on a letter in this week's local rag, the 'Star'. Cop a squiz, you mug.


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