* jazzyhands *

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::11.8.04:: Overwhelmed

Last night I started having a big hissyfit over everything I've got happening in my life at the moment. Sometimes it just seems I have so much to do, and so little me to do it. Even though I know that I can manage and that really I just need to take things one step at a time - it isn't the individual tasks that worry me, just the immensity of their whole - I gave into panic and the panic crushed me.

I'm feeling better about things today.

There is something that amazes me though...when I tell people that I am pooing my pants about having to get up and talk in front of an audience they are always really surprised. People around me have this stupid idea that I'm outgoing and confident and shit like that. I can't imagine where they get that idea from. I am a snivelling little wimpy girl. I stutter and I mumble and I lose words. Basically I'm a mound of shyness. Some days I find it almost impossible to get out of bed and face the world. Man, people are easily fooled.



At the end of each year, we give out awards. Ahem, sorry, I give out awards. I hate it. I feel like I'm doing the worst job. Everyone always says that it's great and they can't believe that I feel I'm doing a bad job.
We both must have the appearance of being confident and brave, even though we're shy and scared of standing up and talking in front of these people! I'm guessing that's a good thing :)



i know *exactly* what you mean. ppl seem to feel the same about me as well. little do they know.

B! @ beeep.net



Stage fright is a fright you give yourself, that's all. Going on stage is something anyone can do. Anyone can put on an act, the art is not to overdo it.


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