Video Games Cause Violence - My Arse!
There was an article in The Age the other day about how video games cause kids to be more violent. More violent, pshaw! I've done intense investigation into this topics, mostly because the subjects are Andrew's friends and they are all over the house, and in my very scientific findings the opposite is true.
Teenagers aren't out being destructive and violent because they are too busy sitting inside playing games. They are soft and weak and have no fight in them.
As I'm tripping over yet another smelly body on the lounge room (they have to sit on the floor because nothing gets the smell of teenage boy out of the furniture), I yell at them - "Why are you out tagging trains like normal kids? It'd be good for you - the fresh air, the exercise, the adventure."
"But the new Final Fantasy just came out," they whine. (Note - if it is Final Fantasy, why do they keep bringing out new ones?)
Why aren't you out skulling Stones Green Ginger in the park then stealing cars and joyriding?" I say to the stranger mooching Pepsi from my fridge.
"Cos the new Grand Theft Auto just come out."
"Don't dream it, be it," I tell them but they don't listen.
But he's walked away with half the week's groceries.
"Why aren't you little fuckers out scoring drugs, rolling old ladies and listening to mind-warping rock," I cry. (Note to other parents: it's cool to call your children's friends "fuckers" - they think you are hip with the kiddies).
"How come all your friends hang out here anyway?" I ask, thinking it's because I'm the hot Mum, the subject of teen boy fantasies. But no, I'm the sucker Mum. The one that lets the whole bunch stay over.
Then there are the times Andrew stays out until all hours of the night.
"Why are you home so late?" I ask, gleefully waiting for tales of subversive debauchery.
"I've been in the city playing LAN games."
I can't win.
When I was a teenage, we didn't have video games (unless you count those lame-arsed sports games). We definitely didn't have VIOLENT games. We made our own fun. We hung out smoking and cussing and causing trouble. That's what teenagers are meant to do. We got our thrills for real, not viciously through some stupid game.