* jazzyhands *

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::2.1.05:: Assault and Vinegar

Let me tell you a story, a true story about a naive young country girl,
freshly arrived in the big smoke, not yet wise to the ways of the world.

One day, this innocent woman-child (let's call her K) realises she has rather embarassingly contracted thrush. Being too shy to go to the chemist, she calls her best hippy* friend, T, to ask for advice.

As a good hippy chick, T advises home remedies - firstly yoghurt (unflavoured, of course). Our heroine, K, has no unflavoured yoghurt in the house and is too embarassed to go to the supermarket to get any (who buys unflavoured yoghurt unless they have thrush?). So Hippy T has another suggestion - a vinegar douche.

K has vinegar handy.

Seconds later, the phone rings. Through her blood-curling screams, K hears Hippy T advise her to strongly dilute the vinegar. Then she hears Hippy T laugh. A lot.

On that day K learns several things - that somethings can cause more pain to girlie bits than childbirth, never to trust a hippy and that Canesten is a girl's best friend.

* Why is it that vegetarians seem to contract thrust more than anyone else? Does eat meat reduce the incidence of thrust or is it just that hippies tend to talk about these things more than other people?



I reckon hippies and vegetarians are just more likely to look for natural remedies for everything.

BTW - You could've said you were buying unflavoured yoghurt to use for a face mask.



Here's what brings on thrush:
Sitting down for extended periods of time
Wearing synthetic knickers
Eating high-yeast and sugar, such as bread, hot-cross buns, donuts, beer etc

Drink cranberry juice
Eat acidophilous capsules
Break apart extra acidophilous capsules and sprinkle on affected areas

Not that I know anything about any of this. :-)



Cranberry juice sounds good... does it count if it's in a Cosmopolitian?



owwwww! do you need assistance in maybe, tying your tree hugging friend, TO a tree? :(



God kathleen, that just makes me wince......severely



Doh! Kathryn, NOT Kathleen - what a jerk I am



That's ok :)



One word baby - Diflucan!!


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