* jazzyhands *

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::19.1.05:: Can't sleep

The joy of sleeping eludes me at the moment and it has always been my greatest pleasure. I don't know what's wrong. I didn't get to sleep until after 3.00 am last night, same the night before. I've been walking around half dead, almost falling asleep as I walk.

Maybe I have too many problems floating around in my head - money, work, andrew, moving or not, writing, shoes (the not having of), job interview yesterday and a corncopia of small yet bugful miseries.

Maybe it's not having a bed light - the old lightglobe broke off in my bed light the other day and I can't remove it (I haven't had an overhead light for years, the wiring is so dodgy in my house). So going to bed is such a commitment now; there is no easing into sleep.

Maybe too much caffiene. I think I've been drinking more coffee since I started my new job.

Tonight I'll go swimming then have an early night. Hopefully that will get me back on track.



Listen carefully, if you mean that the metal part of the globe is still in the holder but the glass part is broken, here's what to do. FIRST MAKE SURE THAT THE PLUG IS REMOVED FROM THE WALL SOCKET. Then get a pair of pliars - narrow nose would be best - grip the metal part of the globe, push inwards and turn to the left (as you would when removing a globe in the normal manner). Then it should come out.

I'm most sorry to hear that you're having trouble sleeping. I'd advise you on that if I could, but I can't fix everything.




Thanks RH



Most welcome.



'Pliars' is spelled 'pliers', fuckwit.

And they are 'needlenose pliers', not 'narrownose pliars'.




Thanks to Jamie Durie for correcting the spelling for the sparky gear.

My advice on sleep - I swear by Valerian tablets. Blackmores. They smell like manure, but they are very good. Take an hour before you go to bed. It's good for drifting off to sleep, and very good for later on if you have to get up - I fall straight back to sleep now instead of lying awake.

Plus: When you do get up in the night, do not look at any clocks. Turn them away if you have to. Same goes for lying in bed - turn the clocks away so you can't see what time it is. This really helps me.

No caffeine after midday. It's going to suck, but you'll make it.

Good luck!



Pansy pants, I'm gonna insure you for five million dollars. Then I'll open a sex shop in a one horse country town, with you as proprietor. After you're lynched I'll collect the dough.

So how's that? Pretty slick, eh?



Pansy pants, I'm gonna insure you for five million dollars. Then I'll open a sex shop in a one horse country town, with you as proprietor. After you're lynched I'll collect the dough.

So how's that? Pretty slick, eh?

Let's Know.



Double indemnity.



Pussy boots! You swine! You cake-faced camp-featured cure for constipation! Put down those noodle nosed plyers. Chuck that junk jewellery in the bin! Wake up to yourself!

Well, heh heh heh. A little joke. Now then, (lollytits) would you like a little poem? Something unusual? Let's know. Sugarbum.
And remember, Uncle R.H.is the best relative you will ever have. Relatively speaking, of course. And he will be true to you!- until you die! (Or run out of dough, whichever happens first.) Honeybunch.



You have no idea how much I pity your family, R.H. You seem to have made embarassing yourself an art form. Please - continue. You're beyond criticism. Nothing I can say is going to make you look more moronic than you look by simply letting you speak.



there must have been something in the air the last couple of nights... cause i wasn't getting to sleep till around 2.30 myself. and i thought i was getting good at finally going to sleep around midnight!

B! @ beeep.net



You great boring barrowload of rotting meat!

You spiv! Dancing partner! Great Georgeous George Of Grange Road! How dare you take pity on my family - without even offering any dough! Got to hell!

Or email me - with your credit card number!




The Commercial Road Tabernacle Choir Presents:

God save our gracious queen
Best queer we've ever seen
God save our queen.


Send her victorious
Moustached and glorious
Whooo-oh for all of us-
God save our queen!


Good morning, and get fucked!



*Crickets Chirping*



My dears, as a scribbler, and a thinker, my concern is always whether I've said enough. But the truth is, you never have.
All the same, I think I've said enough here.

Farewell, jazzyhand chums.


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