* jazzyhands *

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::11.1.05:: Today I Did Stuff

Well the dole seminar was a disappointment. Their VCR wasn't working so I missed out on the videos of bright young things and their orgasmic excitement at learning of the services Centrelink provides. Damn I love that video. Do you think the Centrelink staff would think it strange if I asked for a copy to watch at home?

I'd been panicking because I couldn't find my birth certificate or passport. I'd planned to search for them on the weekend but, with a delightful gastro/migraine double whammy, I had the physical strength of Mr Burns.

So after the dole seminar, I had a 2 hour wait for my appointment to get on the dole. I came home and walked into the laundry, got a box off the shelf and my birth certificate was sitting on top. Woohoo! I still must locate my passport though. You never know when an eccentric millionaire is going to call with an offer to fly to an exotic location post haste.

The dole interview was delightfully easy. I'd done about 10 hours work last week and was going to lie about it but, at the last minute, 'fessed up - I'm the world's worst dole cheat - but it didn't effect my payment that much and I'm getting money in my bank account tomorrow (well today by now) plus my pay on Wednesday. This is very good. It means I can pay my rent A DAY BEFORE NEXT MONTH'S IS DUE. Oh well, I have some longer term work starting Wednesday so things are looking up.

And that leads me to this: now I'm officially a dole bludger I'm heading to the beach tomorrow. A friend is still on hols and we realised that although we spend many bleak years of unemployment and poverty and assorted shit together in Tasmania, we've never done the dole bludging on the beach thing together. Prolly something to do with Tassie weather. Now what's the bet my agency rings through with some work.

Tonight I watched the quality television entertainment that was The Biggest Loser. Andrew ignored my indignant screams at the telly. I mean, some of it was good but the whole concept is so wrong. One of the guys lost 22 lbs in a week which is around 10 kgs. That is not safe and healthy weight loss; that is insane. Trust me, I know most everything about dieting (in theory) having tried every diet under the sun and any reputable diet program recommends a loss of around a kilo a week.

The winner (or Biggest Loser) gets $US250,000 -- if they keep this up then that money will all be going to get the slabs of excess skin cut off their now trim carcass.

Also, they had these people who are overweight and not fit doing 2-5 hours of full on cardio a day. There has to be some major health risks there.

But the thing that really got me fired up was the girl who got booted this week - Dana. To me Dana wasn't that overweight. Sure might have been tipping the bigger end of the normal range (and remember television adds about 1/2 stone) but she was cute and healthy looking. Any weight loss would have been mainly off her fine set of funbags anyway.

Because she only lost 5lb (around 2 kgs), she was letting the team down. She had to go.

Now firstly, there is no way she could loss the excessive amounts that some of the other contestants lost. The bigger you are, the most you are going to lose.

Secondly, it is harder for women to lose weight than men - medically proven fact. Women's bodies are designed to retain weight.

Oh and I nearly forgot the thing that had me most angry. On one of the teams, several members were smokers. Their trainer took their cigs and snapped them in two. The big babies just let her get away with it. What was with that? If it was me, I'd have picked up the skinny, sanctimonious ho and snapped her in two. I mean the show is about weight loss not breaking all vices.

Totally unrelated to my Biggest Loser watching, I am reactivating my weight loss blog. My mum and sister are going to Weight Watchers (who do recommend a 1/2 - 1 kilo loss a week) and I want to outdo them. I don't think the tea cake and spring rolls today helped.

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