I had to watch Australian Idol last night, even though it meant a trip to the gym to do so (still don't have a telly, damn it). Okay I would have gone to the gym anyway but it meant listening to it though my dodgy walkman radio and having to miss bits while I went in the other room to do my legs and other HUGE sacrifices. Pity me.
Who the fuck is that Kyle dude? I know he is on some woeful commerical radio show with that skankola hag, Jackie O (how overexposed is she getting at the moment? You know how much of Jackie O I want to see on my tv/in my magazines/anywhere? Zero. Less that zero. I want to see negative Jackie O. And she is supposed to be the voice of the thinking Australian woman for some shampoo company? Why does shampoo need a "thinking" spokesperson anyway? Aren't they supposed to be dealing with the outside of my head, not the inside? I'd rather have some brain-damaged retard presenting me - oh wait, what's the difference?) What does anyone on commerical radio know about music anyway? Huh?
Anyway, now I am torn. It's like, I want to like the mean judge. After all, they are about tearing down people's dreams and destroying their lives. And I like that. That's why I watch Idol. Come on, admit it. So do you.
If some talentless little bimbo has spent her life being treated as such a princess that her parents and friends won't even tell her she sings like a billygoat shitting in a kerosene can (one of my dad's favourite expressions) then she deserves to be humilated on national television. It is right and character building.
But, on the other hand, I can't like Kyle. He is like vomit in human form. I would love to see a disgruntled auditioner stab him in the guts on camera. Everything about him is wrong. And he's not even shaggable like Dicko.
And what is with everyone wanting to be the quirky Asian guy this year? That's just a bit old hat and boring now. Do something new. Be the quirky Quatemalian dude or something.