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::16.2.06:: Common Sense, Huh?

I have had to spend a lot of time on public transport lately, enough time to get myself riled up about stupid things - like urine soaked junkies and Eastern subjects public school kids and basically everyone on the train who isn't me or the guy with piercing blue eyes sitting opposite me today. But the thing that makes me most angry is this stupid ad.

See on the trains at the moment, for those of you luck enough to not be familar with Melbourne's public transport system, are a series of ads for people to work at Yooralla. Each one has an essential characteristic with a cartoon to illustrate it. Inoffensive enough except for one.

"Common Sense" - common sense is demonstrated by a bunch of girls in short skirts shivering outside a night club door but in the middle is common sense girl wearing a big, padded coat.

At first glance it works. But I used to be young. I used to go to nightclubs. I know the drill. It's all fine and dandy at the beginning of the night but come closing time, common sense girl will learn her smart arsed tactics have backfired. See, while all the shivering girls head off laughing into the morning sun, common sense girl is the one waiting for hours at the cloak check for some drug addled friend of the owner to find her semen and vomit encrusted coat amonst the debri. See that padded coat makes a mighty fine mattress for a quickie in the back room.

Minutes will become hours as the cloak check person forgets what she is there for, skips off to find his/her dealer, cadges free knock off drinks from the bar staff, works out what after party they are going to then comes back with the wrong coat. Sixteen times. By then, the root common sense girl has pulled has skipped off with someone else, all the cabs are gone, the drugs have worn off and the night club has closed.

The real answer, my friends, the real common sense is to NEVER cloak anything, NEVER wear a coat and, most of all, NEVER go to nightclubs. Catch public transport instead. You can bored shitless and covered in bodily fluids for free.



Gotcha. I guess being covered in bodily fluids for free is all part of the public service. The Bracks Government probably pay Connex a subsidy to provide it, or something. It's good to know they care that much about each and every commuter.

How about manners on public transport, though? People are throwing those bloody MX magazines all over the place. And barely a stop goes by without another drivelling drug-addicted cretin stumbling on to the train and slurring in your ear. Almost makes me long for the day when locomotion was a gentleman's pursuit, it does.

Maybe it's just me, but you sound a little depressed. Would it help if I popped round there with a bottle of whisky or something?


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